C-14... GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE Pride Guide®

Two films bring us perfect pecs and a chomping condom

by Pan Cunningham

Cleveland-Two films being screened at the Cleveland Cinematheque will have queer audiences laughing and screaming in terror this Pride season.

All the Rage, directed, written and pro-

topher has always gone for. In fact, Stewart is an editor, and as attractive as he is, he is a little thick around the middle. However, he does meet one of Christopher's vital requirements he loves baseball and ballet. Yet for all of Christopher's romanticizing, he is not prepared for the warm and embracing love Stewart offers. Through this relationship we find out that Christopher may not be as shallow as we once thought. The romance warms up Christopher's well-hidden emotions and Christopher finds himself in a relationship where, for the first time, he can display his intellect, his humor, and his ability to show affection. As amazing as this is for Christopher to experience, he still can't help but think: Why doesn't Stewart love him for his superficials? It becomes obvious to us that while Christopher has spent so much time working on being a catch that won't be caught, inside he's really quite an emotional

Christopher has a cell phone and a date in that order on the roof deck in All the Rage.

duced by openly gay writer-composerproducer-director Roland Tec, focuses on Christopher, a Chelsea look-alike with cheekbones and a bank account that won't quit. A resident of Boston's South End-a tony neighborhood chock full of gay clubs, fine dining and a gym on every corner--Christopher is smooth, buff and practically entirely self-absorbed. And even though he goes through men the same way you go through a box of tissues at the height of allergy season, he still allows himself the romantic notion that somewhere out there is the man of his dreams. In fact, surprisingly, Christopher feels there's something lacking from his onenight stands.

The action really begins when Christopher's neighbors, loving couple Tom and Dave--who are going through their own relationship neuroses-have Christopher over for dinner. What they haven't told Christopher is that they've invited another neighbor, Stewart.

Now Stewart is not the kind of guy Chris-

mess.

Because of his insecurities, it's not too long before Christopher's old ways begin to ré-surface. His hot gym dreamboat, affectionately nicknamed “Donkey Dick,” happens to be none other than Stewart's gorgeous roommate, Kenny. Body temperatures rise and it's not too long before Christopher's desire for Kenny gets out of hand. Will Christopher fail the fidelity test?

Based on Tec's play A Better Boy, All the Rage sticks a pin in a cherished gay idol so that we can see exactly what it looks like, deflated.

A social comedy all people can relate to, All the Rage dives head-first into gay mentality and culture to examine the one thing that sends us fags screaming to the gyms: body worship.

All the Rage plays at the Cinematheque at 9:30 pm on Saturday, June 12, and at 7 pm on Sunday, June 13.

Yes folks, I'm afraid safer sex has finally gone awry. In Killer Condom: the Rubber that Rubs You Out!, condoms are no longer our protectors from the drip, AIDS, or the clap. In fact, after putting one of these condoms on, gonorrhea is the least of your worries.

This film takes place in New York City in the present day with one small peculiarity— they're all speaking German. After you get past this and the subtitles, the movie actually is pretty odd.

The movie's main character, Detective Luigi Mackeroni (a Sicilian queer speaking German in New York City-ya gotta love the cultural mix), is, at the beginning, the lone crusader for catching and demystifying the Killer Condom.

A German-speaking gay Sicilian detective searches New York City for the Killer Condom.

After an evening with a call boy in "The Quickie,” a dive brothel where a fellow cop-turned-transvestite and past lover, Bob/Babette, performs regularly, Mackeroni himself has a run-in with the sharp teeth of the menace condom and loses a testicle. This creates a vendetta pursuit for the discovery of the creators of this terror.

For a good part of the movie, Mackeroni's quest is not at all taken seriously, at least not until a president-elect loses his pecker to the beast. It is only then that the city is turned upside down to find the condom that has now spread into the general populace of New York City.

With the help of the police and a halfcrazed and noseless Russian woman (whom only the call boy can understand), an underground operation is discovered that puts a whole new twist on the next coming of the Lord. What they discover there could make any gay man's skin crawl...if only it weren't so darn funny!

I have to admit that I admire the way the

director and actors dealt with such a bizarre premise a condom that randomly chomps off people's exposed body parts. I also admire the gay sex-positive message in this movie, which climaxes with Mackeroni's "Message from the Mount”, a declaration that all of life's scum and sexual deviants deserve to find love, happiness, and a condom without teeth.

In combination with some steamy sex scenes and some wacky cinematography, watching this flick was not an entirely painful experience. If you go into it expecting to see overexaggerated John Waters characters and "The Blob" sci-fi effects, you will be in the proper mind-space to enjoy this movie.

Killer Condom plays at 9:15 pm on Saturday, June 19, and at 7 pm on Sunday, June 20. The Cinematheque is located in the Cleveland Institute of Art, 11141 East Blvd., in University Circle; 216-421-7450.

Pan Cunningham is the outreach educator for the AIDS Taskforce of Cleveland.

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